Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Mommy Sarah's Terrible Tuesday

You all, I am a hormonal mess. I have found myself breaking down the past few days over the tiny things, and I am feeling sorry for myself in the process. I am sooo done with everything. I'm done with being fat, done with not being able to bend over, done with my toenails looking disgusting because I am to fat to paint them. I am sooo sooo sooo done with sitting at my house, watching tv, playing on the computer and cleaning. I am done with the ugly Kentucky weather that has been keeping me from going to the pool. I am DONE DONE DONE. So the only question is why can't the baby just come already??? AHHHH I am going out of my mind. I broke down to my hubby after our appointment this morning, because the idea of sitting around waiting for another week is too much for me to handle right now. The days tick by when you are not allowed to do anything!! I know people have it worse because I am not on strict bedrest, but the whole you can't do this or that list is really long. I have to find something to do to make this week go by faster.

My appointment went well. I gained 2 more pounds, I am still measuring a little behind but that has been normal for me, and I am about 1 1/2 to 2 cms dialated. Let me just tell you that I hate having my cervix checked. PAINFUL. However, the only thing that gets me through it is the anticipation of finding out if we are any closer to D Day. The doctor ordered an ultrasound for me to check the babies growth and fluid. He said that if the baby was a little behind where they felt comfortable or if my fluid was beginning to decline then they would go ahead and deliver. He ordered the ultrasound for this week, however, the nurse at the front told me there were no avaliable appointments until MONDAY. MONDAY PEOPLE that is 6 days away, and I do not know if I can mentally make it that long. I mean the order said THIS WEEK, I do not recall MONDAY being this week. However, that is the only day avaliable unless it is an emergency so I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it.

Here is my weekly plan

Today: go to the pool because it is actually pretty

Wednesday: get a baby doll for birthing class, and then go to birthing class at 6:30

Thursday: as long as it is pretty my cousin and her little boy are coming to the pool to go swimming

Friday: NO PLANS (probably sit on my butt and stare at the wall, all the while wondering when Caleb is going to come. Maybe cry a little because I am sooo done!!!)

Saturday: zoo with my hubby (I am really looking forward to this so hopefully it is pretty enough to go)

Sunday: Our one year anniversary. However, we are planning on really celebrating our anniversary 6-7 weeks after the baby is born. We are going to plan a romantic, baby free, pregnancy free night, and it will probably be the first night I leave baby Caleb. However, this week all I know that we are doing for sure it going to eat. What else can a 9 month pregnant lady do???

Anyway, I do not want you all to think that I have gone crazy or anything, I am just overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, and tired. I am soo ready to see and hold my little one, and the days are just ticking by. Pray for me ya'll I need it.


Brit said...

It's completely normal to feel like you are going crazy and get frustrated. It will be even worse once the baby gets here because your hormones will go from a high to a low super fast, you will be exhausted and if he is a crier/fussy baby ...shoo... send a prayer up. It's okay if you just cry and cry and cry. Totally normal.

Just remember... IT WILL GET BETTER. and think... for every day he is inside you... that only means he will be healthier and healthier!

My suggestion for Saturday... SLEEP! I know it's hard... but sleep all day if you can... just lay in bed and be a bum... you will want to so bad after he gets here but won't be able to!

You will get through it girl!

Praying for you!

Brit said...

I meant my suggestion for Friday! The day you aren't doing anything!

Abby said...

Aw, I feel just horrible for you. But, just think, you are thisclose! So close that he could come at any time, and I promise he's well worth the wait (Which I know you know and have heard a million times!!!).

I agree with Brit - sleep and/or do something for yourself that is totally self-indulgent. You won't get any more "me" time for a long time.

Thinking of you!!!!

Pretty Personal Gifts said...

I wrote my babies a letter before they were born.

Rest...you'll need it and hang in there. Spoil yourself maybe?

Hang in there!!