Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Wish


Caleb:

Sweet little one I am so thankful for you.  From the moment I discovered I was pregnant with you, I have felt a love like no other. The moment I first felt you kick I cried tears of joy, when you were born I cried tears of joy, when you smiled, when you rolled over when you cry for me, I light up. When you have tears of sadness I cry with you. You are my world, and I am soo soo soo in love with you sweet one.  I want so many things for you, and I hope that I can always be a godly, loving, caring, understanding mother. I know there will be times in life when we have our ups and downs, but always know sweet precious that you are the greatest gift from God, and I will love you NO MATTER what. 

  • I pray that first of all you come to know God. I never want to force God or Christianity upon you baby boy. However, it is my prayer that God will take a special hold of your heart, and will make himself known to you in a mighty way. I plan to raise you in church, and I know that ultimately the decision of whether or not you come to know God is up to you. I pray that you do my sweet baby. I pray that you truly understand the deep love that God has for you. I pray that you understand that he has a plan for your life, and that he can work all things together for the good if you trust in him and follow him.  I pray each and every day that God will help me be a light to you, and even though there are times when I do not show God in the greatest way, I want you to always know that he LOVES you.  He loves you more than I love you, and that  is so hard for me to understand, because my love for you in indescribable. 
  • Life is hard at times sweet baby.  There will be days when it seems that all is going wrong, and where you feel as though you will never be happy again.  There will be deep heartache in life.  Loved ones may pass away, friends may be mean, you may not make the team, your girlfriend may break up with you. I know as you get older you will try to keep feelings to yourself.  Know my baby that I am always here to talk to you. I care about your problems, and if I could keep heartache out of your life I would do so. I can not take the heartache away, but I will listen, I will take you on a trip or outing to get your mind off things, I will hug you, I will love you, I will be there for you. All you have to do is come talk. Try your hardest to forgive and forget, and bite your tongue in situations where it is not always easy. Mommy has not always done this, and trust me little one nothing good comes from letting your tongue run wild.
  • Value who you are. Don't give into the pressures of this world just because others do so. I know that you are human, and that you are a guy, and that temptation will come. I pray that you truly step back in each situation and evaluate what will be best for your life. Please sweet little one never venture into drugs. Drugs scare mommy to death, and the thought of something happening to you is more than I can handle. Caleb I want you to realize that I love you so much that I would give my life for you, and I mean that with all of my heart.  Be good to the baby that I love so much, drive safe when you are older, never drink and drive, and please never ever venture into drugs. 
  • I am already praying for the woman that God may have in your future. I pray that you find all the love in the world in her, and that she make you the happiest you have ever been. I pray that you too will be able to experience the love of having children one day.
  • I pray that God allows me to raise you, and to see you grow up. I want to take in every moment of your life that I can.
  • I pray that you take the time to be young. You do not have to go directly to college after high school. If you do not know what you want to be, and you have other dreams share those with me. If you want to to travel, take the time. Be young, and enjoy yourself.  Life is to short.  If your wish is to go directly to college go for it. You can do whatever you want to do sweet little one.
  • Always know that you are the love of mine and your daddy's life.  We loved on you while you were in my tummy, and talked about what you would look like, who you would be like etc.  When you arrived our hearts stood still, and your face was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. We spent hours holding you, looking at you, kissing you.  You are our hearts outside of our bodys.  Without you we are not complete.  Keep my heart safe sweet baby. When mommy goes on to be with Jesus, know that I will be there with open arms waiting for you and daddy to join. I LOVE YOU.
This song is my prayer for you baby boy...

"Trust in the Lord, and Never give up Hope your gonna do Great things, I already know. God's got his hand on you so don't live life in fear. Forgive and forget, but don't forget why your here. Take your time and pray, thank God for each day, His love will find a way, these are the words I would say"  by  Sidewalk Prophets.

2 comments:

Megan Adkins said...

This made me cry Sarah. I love you and baby Caleb soooo much. You are one of the greatest people I have ever known and I will always look up to you for that.

Love,
Megan aka Berry

The Gardella's said...

aww Meggy. You are going to make me cry :) We love you too.