Thursday, December 2, 2010

A post from the Heart

*Note:  My computer that we thought was fixed is still going crazy.  Therefore, I am unable to load new pics at this time, and I have many posts in which I have to add new pics to write.  I promise that they will be coming as soon as we can get a functioning computer. 

I have been thinking awhile about how to write this post.  I still do not really know where or how to begin.  It is basically a post about the love of a family.  However, I want to be able to find the right words to describe the love/thankfulness that I feel, but I do not know if the right words will ever really be there.  So,  I am just going to start typing and see where this ends up.

Since becoming a mother I have experienced a whole new type of love.  A love that literally hurts.  A love that makes you want to hang onto every moment, and never let a second pass without kissing your baby, or telling them how much you care for them.  A love that is literally the best feeling and scariest feeling in the world all at the same time.  However, it has also made me gain a love so much deeper for my husband.  A love of respect, of thankfulness, a love that makes me realize how blessed I really am. 

I do not know about you all but some of my favorite times are early in the morning.  We always bring Caleb into bed with us to drink his milk in the morning, and on days that I do not have to work, I lay with him and hubby and cuddle.  Generally hubby is asleep at this point with Caleb laying on his arm drinking away.  However, I always just lay there and look at them.  I watch my sweet little innocent baby sip away without a worry in the world.  All he knows is that he is loved and feels safe in his dadas arms.  I watch my hubby sleep, and I thank God for the man and the father that he is.  Sometimes when we are laying there I am just so overcome with emotion that it scares me.  There is so much love in that bed.  My heart is literally laying there with me, and that scares me to death.  I pray at those moments that I will always have my two men to love.  I pray that I will take in each moment that I have with them and never take any moment for granted.  I then pray for safety (because quite frankly the world is a scary place). 

Hubby has really been melting my heart lately.  It is so amazing to watch the man you love with your child.  I am so thankful for the husband and father that he is.  He is so kind to me.  He listens to my little complaints, loves me on my worst days, is such a huge helper with Caleb, and works so hard to take care of us.  Since day one he has been an upfront dad. He has never been a dad who acts as though all the responsibility of taking care of a child is on the mother just because he works.  He understands that this is a 50/50 deal, and he is happy to participate.  He has always been there to help with Caleb.

He held Caleb through the night at the hospital when he would not sleep, and I was so tired that my body literally ached.

He will get up with him if  I need him to.  He is willing to change dirty diapers and bathe Caleb to give me my break time.  He will get up with me if Caleb is sick and we will talk out the situation together. He worries about him as much as I do, and is willing to just sit there with me and watch him breathe to make sure he is okay. 

  He is always willing to take Caleb for the day so I can go out and get things done.  He doesn't complain. 

He loves to come through the door and immediately start a game of chase with Caleb through the house.  I am so thankful for this. He is willing to go on a 3 hour photo shoot with us just to get the perfect picture of our little man.  He is willing to go to any and all activities that I think will be fun for the family, and is excited during the process. 

 He understands how precious this time is with our little man and he takes in every moment.

My husband literally melted my heart the other day when he walked up to Caleb, grabbed him in his arms, kissed his head, and said "You know you are my world right?"  That is a moment of true love.  A moment to be frozen in time in the memory of our family forever. 

I am so blessed to have the husband that I do, and the son who melts our hearts each day.  My love is so full right now, and I feel as though my heart may burst with love once miss Mckinlee arrives.

 Thank you babe for being such a wonderful dad, husband, and role model. 


1 comment:

Shannon Pawul said...

This post brought tears to my eyes, I feel the sameway that you do about my little family. It is hard to describe it with words. I, too, have an amazing, hard working husband! It is amazing the love that our family has, and like you I pray for safety everyday. My safety is a little bit different as yours, just because of the job that my hubby does. I know that any day could be our last day together because that night at work her could get hurt. I constantly worry about Addy not having a daddy...but in the end I know that he loves us and is protected. Good luck with you new addition, baby girls are so much fun :)