Miss Mckinlee....let me begin by saying how much I love you. You have literally stolen my heart a million times over in your short little life so far. With every snuggle, every wimper, every nursing session, and every sleepless night I have fallen more and more in love with you. I have to admit I had me nervous feelings before you arrived. How would I handle two children, would my love be able to grow, would I bond the same etc etc. Oh, but little miss, let me just say that the moment I met you all those nervous feelings flew away. You were mine and I was yours. You were my daughter and I was your mother. You were part me part your father, and I immediately felt undconditional love in the greatest of ways. You and your brother are both my heart. You both mean the world to me, and I am so thankful to God for allowing me to be your mother.
Here is the story of your birth.. (I am going to break it into parts)
All along in this pregnacy I had a "feeling" about the weekend of Feb 5. Call it mothers intuiton, wishful thinking etc. I don't really know what it was, but this was the weekend that our lives changed forever. Saturday night I was bound and determined to get this labor moving. Afterall I was 3 centimeters, and the doctors were very adament in thinking that I would deliver in my 38th week. I was having contractions, charlie horses in my legs, and pelvic pressure at all hours of the day. Not to mention I was chasing around, lifting, and mothering an 18-month-old in the process. So, on Satruday night I tried almost every old wives tale in the book (aside from castor oil). I pumped, I did squats, jumping jacks, ate spicy food, loved on my hubby, and ate pineapple. I was joking around about all of these things working, and quite honestly did not think they would. At around midnight I got an incredible urge to give our yorkie Bella a bath. Hubby laughed and told me I was crazy, and he went on to sleep. However, I bathed her, trimmed her hair, and blow dryed her, and I then layed down to fall asleep. As soon as I went to bed I began feeling some pretty strong contractions. I tried not to get my hopes up, but they just continued to come, and they came frequently. I just sat in bed for the longest time feeling them, and debating whether or not to get out of bed to start timing them. I soon decided to move to the living room, pull out my handy iphone contraction timer, and start timing them. Well, they were automatically 5 minutes apart, and lasting anywhere from 30-80 seconds. I timed them for over and hour, and finally felt a STRONG, LONG contraction and decided to wake hubby. I woke him up, and said "babe you may want to pack your bag because I think this is the real thing". I then sat debating with my what to expect book about whether or not to call the doctor. The book said to call if they were 5 minutes apart, but I thought they may not be real because I was not doubling over in pain the way I expected to. I was still having normal conversation in between, and I was able to joke with hubby. I kept asking him if he thought they were real, in which he could only reply "I have no idea". haha. Finally, I called the doctor, she told us to come to labor and delivery, and we called my mother in law to come stay with Caleb.
On the way to the hospital I was pretty much convinced that they would send us home once we arrived for false labor. I just thought I should be in more pain than I was. We arrived at the hospital, went to L&D, and they took me back to a room to check me. They hooked me up to the contraction monitor, checked my cervix (I was a 4, but not as thinned as the doctor had said at my last appt.). They had me walk around the hospital floor for an hour to make sure it was the real deal. So, hubby and I walked, and walked and walked. All the while I was sporting a hospital gown and fake uggs, and leaning against the wall while having contractions. With every contraction I would have a charlie horse in my right thigh so that was no fun. While walking I felt like my contractions started to decrease, and that pissed me off. At this point it was 5 am, I had been awake for 22 hours, and I was determined to have my baby that day. I began speed walking and squating in the hallway the last few laps. They took me in to check me again and I had progressed to a 5 so they decided to keep me. HALLELUJAH!! At that point all I could think about was how relieved I was, how I wanted the epidural now, and how I wanted to sleep once I got it.
They moved us to our birthing room, started my IV (ouch), and told me that as soon as I took in a bag of liquids they would get me my epidural. At this point hubby and I were so exhausted. I remember looking at him as he yawned and saying "babe I think I may turn into that evil pregnant lady, because it is making me mad that you are tired right now". haha We both laughed about it, because both of us had been up for way to long at this point. However, I was in pain, tired, and impatiently waiting for the glorious drugs.
Here is a hideous picture of me on that faithful morning...