Last week in bible study a lady in my small group spoke up. She told us how her husband had passed away last year, and that before he passed away she saw that he really began to look at things from a eternal point of view instead of a earthly point. She told us how when they were younger their focus was on money, rising in their jobs, buying material things, making sure their kids always had the best of the best etc. She said that they both focused on this so much throughout life that it consumed them. She then went on to tell us that when he husband became really sick one night they were sitting together and he looked around and said "Why did we do this?" She questioned him of course because she did not understand what he was asking. He answered "Spend all this time focusing on gaining all this stuff? We wasted so much time and none of this stuff means anything".
That hit me. I really am trying to start looking at this world from more of an eternal perspective, but it is so hard. I get down because we haven't found the house we want yet, or because we do not qualify for the loan for the "dream house" I would like to have. I get down because the kids are difficult some days, I get down because Nick has to work all the time etc. It is so easy to focus on the "I don't haves", it is hard to be content with the "I already have". Human nature I guess. I already see this cycle through my children. They are already never satisfied with what they have. I hate that. I want to be an example of how to me content in your current state, but I know that I am not there yet. I am praying, and working towards this goal daily. The fact is I have every reason to be content. Sure I do not have the large house of my dreams yet, and money is not in abundance, but I am so blessed. My children are healthy, happy, and have more than they could ever need. I have a loving family, and husband, a roof over my head, health, and I am privileged enough to stay home with my kids. I have zero reasons to complain, but I complain anyways....why is that? Why are humans never satisfied? I want to focus on the eternal, and what is really going to matter to me when I am old and gray.
- Children who I raised to love God, to trust him, and who are healthy and happy.
- A loving heart for friends and family.
- Loving God
Those are the things that are important. God help me to keep those in mind when my days are not always as great and easy as today was.
This photo blessed my soul today. Sweet Landon is in the step down unit and brother Logan was able to visit him.