Caleb 17 Months

My sweet baby turned 17 months yesterday.  I seriously can't believe that I am typing that.  You do not know how bittersweet that is with my emotions right now.  I have 1 more month with my little man before we add another love into our lives. One more month to hold only him, to take in all of his faces, and to give him my undivided attention. One more month!!! I remember when I first found out I was pregnant I counted how many months apart the babies would be.  18 months.  Okay I could do that.  18 months was a far way away, and I could prepare.  However, 18 months is now 1 short month away, and now it seems like it came so fast.  My little mans second year is flying by, and I can only imagine how fast time is going to fly when bundle arrives.  So, this month takes a special place in my heart.  I am going to do everything in my power this month to concentrate completely on my little man.  I am going to plan activities, put down the electronics when he is awake during the day, and just work to make him happy.  I want him to know that his mama loves him more than life, and that I always will. 

Caleb at 17 months you are...

Sleeping:  You are now sleeping in a BIG BOY BED!! Wow! I have to admit that I had a moment when we first moved you to your car bed, but you are doing amazing.  You have slept 4 nights in it, and when you wake up in the morning you do not try to get out on your own. You wait until we come in to get you.  You are at this moment in time napping in it for the very first time.  You have been napping in your crib the last few days, because the toys that now fill your room were to exciting for you during naps.  You kept getting up and playing.  However, you are amazing me at this moment with how big and good you are napping in your big boy bed.  You are going to bed around 9:00-9:30 and waking up at 7:30. You take a nap from 11-1 daily and some days you take a one hour nap between 5-6 or 6-7 (depends on your mood). In the morning when we bring you into bed with us, you have to be right on top of me.  If I turn my back to you, you grab my face and pull me back towards you.  I love this.  Whenever I am not in the bed you are all about cuddling with dada, and I always laugh when I come in because you two will be sleeping in the exact same position.  Too cute. 

Eating:  I feel as though there is nothing new to say with this catagory.  Still 3 meals a day, and snacks in between.  You are still obsessed with all fruit.  Unfortunately the only meat you will is chicken nuggets. I was so against feeding you nuggets, but you have to get some protein in your diet. You get protein from peanut butter, yogurt, and nuggets on occasion.  You will only sign "more" for food, and usually it is for powdered doughnuts (my #1 craving this pregnancy).  You also know that fast food bags have nuggets in them and you will freak out if you see us get a bag.  You immediately start reaching and signing more.  Goodness.  I really did not want you to learn the amazingness of fast food just yet, but you get it on a very rare occasion.

Size:  You are still 24 lbs and somewhere between 29-31 inches.  You are wearing 18-2T clothing, and you are in a size 4 shoe.  You also still wear size 4 diapers, but you can also fit in a 5.

Speech:  Your new word of the month is "Mine".  It is basically all you say all day.  You have also learned to say "sissy" to Sydney, and at times you will say "get it".  You also say "More" now but only for powdered doughnuts. 

Exciting New Things:

• Every day you amaze us more and more with the commands you understand.  We just look at you and ask "when did he grow up".
• You will search high and low for your binky, and walk around saying "Mine" once you find it.
• You pull your binky out of your mouth, throw it, and hold up your hands like "where is it".  When we pick it up you say "MINE", and you grab it back.  So cute.
• You now sleep in a big boy bed, with a pillow, and tucked in blankets.  So big.
• You sit at a big boy table to eat now.  The high chair has been packed away.
• You play "wii" with our wii remote, and any other electronic remote.  You turn them sideways sit in your soccer chair, and say "woof woof" while turning it side to side. 
• Anytime you see a toy car you grab it and go vroom vroom.
• You are walking like a champ again after getting your cast off.
• You have moved to your big boy room to make room for sister, but your room is not actually decorated yet.
• Your bedroom and playroom are now combined, and it honestly looks like a playroom with a bed thrown in.
• You love to fill cups up in the bath and pour them on you and go "woooo".
• You can tell us what an elephant says.  You hold your arm up and go "ahhhohhh". 
• You love to build blocks.
• You love Mickey Mouse Clubhouse now.
• You are obsessed with my iphone, and honestly I do not know how we lived without it. You love your apps on it, and you will play with it for forever!
• You have been very cuddly lately.  I love this.
• You are hard core back into seperation anxiety.  You will not stay in the church nursery, and if we are at a friends house and dada or I get out of your sight you freak out.  I'm not a fan of this, and I am hoping that it is just a stage that will soon pass.
• You still think your baby sister is your belly, and you still stick your binky in your belly button to give it to her. 
• You know where your head, nose, eyes, ears, teeth, piggies, baby sister, and hands are. 
• You can sign "all done", "more" "eat" and "diaper change". 
• When you are hungry your generally walk into the kitchen and try to open the fridge.  You also walk over to the sink when you are thirsty.
• You still communicate mostly with "uhhh".  However, we always know what you mean, or we figure it out really fast.
• You laugh when we laugh now. 
• You randomly walk up and give us tons of kisses now.
• You are so my child. You loved to be massaged.  You will sit perfectly still if I start rubbing your back, and you will grab my hand and place it where you want me to rub.  If I stop you grab my hand and put it back on you.  Just like me. 
• You still make your no face, and a roll the eye face that are so funny.
• You hit a lot less now. 
• You still love to give Bella and Sydney kisses.

Baby boy I love you more than you will ever know.  I know you will not remember this time when it was only us, but I hope that you always understand how much joy you bring to my days.  You have changed my life, and you are the greatest blessing I have ever known. 

Wants for Bundle

I am getting hardcore into shopping (aka looking) for bundles wardrobe.  Trust me if I had all the money in the world this little girl would have about 6 closets full of clothes.  However, the reality is that we don't and I am very frugal when it comes to shopping for babies. I mean lets face it they outgrow everything so quickly.  However, I am obsessed with a few items and I think they may just have to make it into her wardrobe. All or which will be topped with a bow of course.  If anyone (family/friends) feels the need to buy these for her she will love you forever promise :).

Old Navy Loves (0-3 or 3-6 months)

 The next two would be so cute with tights or leggings and possible some little uggs with the first.  :) 

Baby Gap Loves (0-3 or 3-6)

Crazy 8 Loves (0-3 or 3-6)

Don't you love? OMG I have been searching etsy and ebay like crazy, and let me tell you I am in love with various little outfits.  However, I will let you know when and if I ever can justify spending 30+ dollars plus shipping on one outfit.  Trust me if I could justify it we would go bank rupt!

Anyway, I am still up in the air about bedding.  I thought I had my heart set on this little number...... 

Then I discovered these....I am so torn.  I have no idea what look I am going for. I thought I wanted bright and fun, and these next two certainly fit that, and I could go wild in my head figuring out just how to fix the nursery. 

However, my eye is really pulling me more towards these classic looks as well. I never thought I would go this fancy, but I am really loving them. 

 I really like the hint of fun hidden in this one. 

Help me choose!!

33 Weeks

Thank you to all who have already commented on my last post.  It helps me know that I am not alone in my emotions.  In light of my last post I thought it only appropriate to do a post on bundle. I mean I have only truly documented about 5 weeks of my pregnancy and I really want to remember this time. 

We are currently 33 weeks along.  Every day I have different emotions with this pregnancy.  I am already at the done point, but at the same time I am not ready for her to arrive just yet.  I do not have her nursery completed nor do I have enough clothes for her to wear once she gets here, and I only have about 3 bows.  I really need to step it up.  However, I am done with feeling prego.  I am ready to feel like myself again!

We had an ultrasound last Monday because once again I am measuring small.  I am measuring about 5 weeks behind where I should be, and once again this concerned the docs.  I was not as worried this time around because I knew that it was normal for me.  At the ultrasound we learned that bundle is actually measuring about 1 week ahead of where I am at.  She was measuring 33 weeks last week when I was 32.  Maybe our due date is wrong? I mean we were not sure of it any way.  Here is to hoping :).  She looked great, and had very little room left in my belly.  Fluid was still good, and my placenta was normal! Oh and she verified that she was indeed a girl!! We got a complete crotch shot and I was so happy for that.

The ultrasound went great other than the fact that I almost passed out on the table.  I can not for the life of me lay flat on my back or everything starts to go blurry.  I spent the remainder of the ultrasound on my left side facing away from the monitor :(. 

How I am feeling:

• Sciatic pain like crazy.  On my right side this time.  Sometimes my entire leg goes numb.
• Sore abs.  She kicks a lot!!! I mean like to the point where I have screamed out in pain.  She likes to dig her elbows and knees into my stomach and just twist.  OUCH!
• Her feet are still permanently in my ribs
• I am no longer able to bend down or turn over easily.
• I am getting bigger, and I am obviously prego now
• Emotional
• I have to use the restroom all the time!
• I sleep okay, but I still can not go back to sleep if I get woke up.
• Ready/not ready
• Excited to start the nursery and to shop for her
• Excited about the baby shower my friends are throwing me this month
• Worried about breastfeeding, even though my boobs are still filled with colostrum.
• A little overwhelmed.
• Tired

All things normal this far along in pregnancy.  Here is a pic of me at 31 weeks.  I look about the same this week!

Emotional

Happy New Year!! Hope everyone had a great one, we sure did. Today (well basically this past week/longer) I have been feeling emotional.  You know typical pregnancy emotions that are coming out hard core this last half of pregnancy.  I think what I have been feeling is completely normal, but I just need to write about it to get it all out.

First of all I want to start by saying that I am beyond excited to meet little miss bundle.  I went shopping for the first time for her this past weekend, and it really made it more real.  I can't wait to snuggle her, see her little face, and take in all those sweet newborn moments.  I can't wait to lay with her on my chest and nap, and just take in every moment of her being my itty bitty.  However, at the same time I am scared.  Normal right?  I am scared to have 2 children.  I know I will be fine, and that I have it in my power to take care of them.  However, I am scared because I am afraid I will not be able to give them both the attention they deserve.  In regards to bundle I am afraid that I will miss her sweet moments.  I am afraid that I will be to busy to notice her little gas smiles, and her little grunts.  I am afraid that I will miss her holding onto my finger because I will be to busy running around chasing her big bro.  I am afraid that she will spend extremely to much time in a swing or bouncy because I have things that I have to do at that moment for Caleb.  Some of these things I did not even realize that I was worried about until I started writing.  I mean I have already neglected her pregnancy on the blog. I feel as though I have not had time to focus on her at all.  Poor girl.  My prayer is that she will know she is loved beyond words.  However, I know that her newborn stage will be so different than Caleb's.  With Caleb I had nothing else to do other than hold, stare, and take him in.  This will not be the case with bundle, but I pray that I have the opportunity daily to make the time. I pray that I do not miss her infancy because it goes so fast. 

This plays a lot into our decision for the birth experience this time around.  With Caleb I seriously was like the more the merrier. I had 5 people in the birth room, and it was so exciting to watch all of their reactions when he was born.  However, I felt as though it was chaos right after he was born.  I was passing my baby around immediately, and though it did not bother me at the time, I definitely want something different with Mckinlee.  I think it is because I realize that this will seriously be one of the only times it will ever be just me, her and hubby.  I plan to still have my sister in the room to take pics (because I have to have pictures), and then after she is born I am going to have my sis step out, and hubby and I are going to take that time with our baby.  I don't know exactly how long, but I know that I want to take her in completely.  I want to be able to sit there and watch her faces, allow her to look at us, have some skin to skin, and just love on my baby.  After this I want Caleb to come in, and I want to take time as a family.  I want to be able to really watch his reaction and allow him to take it all in without chaos.  After that the more the merrier because I know everyone will be dying to get their hands on little mam. 

I also think I am going to limit visiting hours while in the hospital.  With Caleb we seriously had people in the room from 8 am-8 pm.  I think this may have had a factor on why I never could get him the latch.  I never had the chance.  I was having to pump under covers to hide my tatas, and I never had a moment to sleep.  I know that sleep will be something that we will NEED this time around, and I truly want to just lay with her naked on my chest to promote latching this time around.  I think I will do visiting between 10-1 and 4-8.  I hope everyone understands that it is nothing personal. 

Another emotional thing is the first week home.  My main concern with this is Caleb.  We are going to rock his little world already bringing baby sister home.  I mean my goodness my little man thinks baby sister is his belly, and I am sure it is going to confuse him totally to understand that she is an actual baby.  I want the first week to be as normal as possible for him.  I do not want company or visitors.  Nick is taking off work and will be there to help me, and I truly feel as though we need this time as our little family.  We need time to adjust Caleb. We need time to take Mckinlee in. We need us time.  I hope everyone understands and that there are no hard feelings.  I am always so worried about hurting someone, but honestly at this time this is what I need.  If anyone wants to help they can prepare meals for us that we can have frozen and ready for the first week home.  After the first week we will be more open to visitors and company. 

Caleb is a huge emotion right now.  I actually broke down talking to hubby about this yesterday in Olive Garden.  I mean like crying at the table haha.  I quickly grabbed his hand so everyone around us would not think that he was making a pregnant lady cry, and I wore my sunglasses out of the restaurant! haha.  Anyway, I am so emotional when it comes to my sweet little man.  It is becoming more and more real to me everyday that I only have a few short weeks left with him to be my only little baby.  That is just it, he is still my baby, and I can't bring myself to see him as a big boy.  I think this week has been particularly hard because we moved him to his big boy bed, and he is not sitting at a big boy table to eat.  I have had many moments when I just stare at him in disbelief at how fast he is growing.  I am so afraid that I will not take in these last few weeks the way I need to.  I am afraid that once the baby comes he will lose attention.  He has been very clingy and cuddly lately, and has gotten hard core back into separation anxiety.  Although the cuddles are sweet, it pulls at my heart.  I am afraid that he will see Mckinlee as being in the way, and will be even worse with separation anxiety once she is here.  I am afraid that he will miss it being just us (even though I know he will not remember).  Hubby and I are planning a bunch of fun, cheap activities with him in the next month.  We want to take in every minute with our little man before bundle arrives.  This seriously makes me cry every time I think about it. 

A lot of this factors into work.  I am worried that I am sharing the short time I have with Caleb with another baby already.  I am afraid that I will miss things because of this. Like wise I am afraid that once Mckinlee arrives I will miss even more of her infancy because I will be to busy trying to care for another baby who is not my child.  I don't really think this is fair for any of the babies involved.  Hubby and I have been discussing what to do about this and I will keep you posted. 

I am also emotional about labor.  You know just the normal scared feelings.  I am afraid something will happen to me.  I want to be there so bad to raise my children, and labor is just so unknown. I am also afraid something will happen to Mckinlee I really try not to read horror stories because they just upset me, but the ones I have read are in the back of my mind, and if you know me then you know I am a worry wart.
Pease pray for me that I just have peace about this and a healthy delivery. 

I know this post is a bunch of word vomit, and if you made it this far thank you so much for reading. Thank you for allowing me to be real.  Comments on this post would be great if you have gone through the same thing or had some of the same emotions.  Please just pray for my emotions. I am in no way depressed or upset about being pregnant. I know I am beyond blessed to be welcoming this new little life into the world, and I am so in love already.  It is just a very emotional and real experience this time around. 

Ho Ho Humbug!

So remember this post from last December?  Feel free to take in the cuteness of my once itty bitty.  It is crazy how much they change in a year.  Any way back to the story at hand.  Do you remember this amazing picture that emerged from that post? 

Yes, he is adorable I know.  He loved Ho Ho last year!! I mean loved him.  However, this year my little man was a real Scrooge when it came to dear ole Ho Ho.  I mean as we were standing in line I informed hubby and mama Taylor that I was pretty sure I would get a crying picture this year.  I mean arterial, my little man is unfortunately getting back into hard core separation anxiety, and does not like strangers to come near him at all.  Add a white beard and flashing lights to the combination and it equals a toddlers #1 nightmare. Here we are waiting in line......

I was right when it came to the picture though.....

He was not a fan of the Santa Land set up for picture taking either. 

Oh well, I wouldn't have it any other way because this pic will always help me remember just who my little man was at 16 months (broken leg and all).  Santa did not take it personally, Caleb got way more than a lump of coal for Christmas.